All vehicles
Are you looking for a safe, eco-friendly, fuel efficient car that's practical for getting around town? Well, you're definitely on the wrong website! Are you looking to have them dripping as you pass by? Welcome! We got a wide variety of cars at an extremely unfair price!
Bugatti Veyron
$2.250.000,00
If cars were porn,
this would be the ultimate DVDA scene. Give the liberals something to really protest about with the least environmentally-friendly car on the planet! The Veyron's monstrous 8-liter engine burns fuel faster than a blazing oil refinery, but it reaches speeds of 250mph, making it the perfect all-round car for life in a busy urban metropolis.
Aventador LP700-4
$500.000,00
It's hard to measure success, but when you're on a car website and several thousand dollars is the "affordable option", we think it's fair to say you're doing ok for yourself. Perfect for the middle-aged man trying to get back in the dating game after a divorce. No room for kids. Just enough room for a 90-pound blonde in her early 20's who, thanks to growing up in the Internet age, thinks anal on the first date makes sense.
McLaren P1
$2.200.000,00
Tell your liberal neighbors you bought the P1 for its 'fuel efficiency' and reduced 'carbon' emissions, when you really got it because they hooked an electric motor to a twin-turbocharged V8 engine just to give it extra juice. Like a toaster in a bathtub, this is a dangerous synthesis of technologies old and new. Be progressive in the only real sense of the word.
Ferrari 488 GTB
$470.000,00
Ferrari might have alienated their Old Money consumers by releasing a hybrid sports car, but 'fuel efficient' is relative when you're talking about 799hp. 0-60 in under 3 seconds and a top speed of 210 mph.
BMW i8
$690.000,00
When you're doing 90 in the fast lane, this is the car right on your ass flashing its high beams. If you're quite rich, and really an asshole, and you want everyone to know it, you can't do better.
Audi R8 V10
$202.500,00
Once you sit in this car, you won't want to drive anything else. Great in the snow. Not really, you'll probably die if you take this overpowered beast anywhere near moisture. Luckily, you live in a desert.
Lamborghini Veneno
$4.250.000,00
Make sure the other 99% know you're in a vehicle they can't afford with this loud, brash, in-your-face supercar from Lamborghini. Insanely fast with a high-tech interior, this is as close as you can get to a fighter jet on wheels. The only thing that goes up quicker than the 0-60 on this bad boy is your insurance premium.
Nissan GTR
FREE
Born in the fires of Mt. Fuji and tested on some German toll road, you can finally legally own this legendary supercar without the fear of having your door kicked in by the FIB because they'd rather crush import cars than catch terrorists.
Ferrari Testarossa
$650.000,00
Forget the last 50 years of technological advancement and hark back to the golden age of driving before seatbelts, DUI laws, anti-lock brakes and emasculating GPS systems with nagging female voices. A prototype sports car manufactured by Ferrari in the early 1970s, this marvel of Italian engineering will over-compensate for just about anything. Just like the Italians.
Chevrolet Stingray
$250.000,00
Something made in America that can still take on the Asian imports? Yes, the Stingray has withstood the test of time and, with this new model, Chevrolet blew through all their bailout money to create an end product that only the 1% can afford. Don't bite the hand that feeds you.
Bentley GT
$350.000,00
The Bentley Continental GT is a top-end luxury car that combines elegance with performance. A car that says, 'I'm a man with money but also a modicum of taste'. A car that says, 'I'm not afraid to transfer $350.000,00 over an insecure internet connection to an unknown entity'. A car that says, 'You never accepted me Dad, but look at me now'.
Fiat Multipla
$312.125,98
Fiat has come with this life-changing new vehicle. It certainly got the looks to pick up girls, in fact it can pick up more girls than a lamborghini ever can do. This vehicle is also a limited edition, with Thomas the train on your hood. You'll be even more creepier now and your neighbors will now think you're just a weird pedophile with a fetish for childcartoons.